I hit rock bottom but now I'm ready to fire Chelsea to glory, insists 50m Torres
17:05 GMT, 24 May 2012
Fernando Torres is ready to fulfil his dreams with Chelsea after admitting he 'lost hope' earlier in his time at Stamford Bridge.
The departure of Didier Drogba gives the 50million British record transfer the ideal opportunity to secure his position as first-choice striker after a difficult 16 months since leaving Liverpool.
Cup kings: Fernando Torres celebrates Champions League glory
Torres has still to rediscover the form he showed at Anfield and has scored just 12 goals in his Chelsea career, but he remains confident his best is to come and dismissed claims he was unsettled.
'At Chelsea I am very happy and I never said the opposite,' he said.
'I still have a lot to do in this club. It has been a difficult year, I didn't play much and my mind was like a roller-coaster.
'I believe that I deserved to play more. I felt very bad and I would not like to feel that way again but I have never surrendered and I never will.
'When Chelsea signed me they did it with great expectations, and the confidence of the owner and the fans has been unconditional, but my role in the team has not followed that line.
'I look at myself and think I have not known how to be essential for the coaches I've had and this is another goal to accomplish which I will, at all costs.'
The Spain international went 24 matches without scoring this season before finally ending his five-month goal drought with two goals in Chelsea's FA Cup quarter-final win over Leicester.
For a player who has excelled at hitting the net at both Liverpool and before then at Atletico Madrid, it became almost a psychological problem.
'It was a mental block, I felt really bad,' he told his website, fernando9torres.com
Waiting game: A glum Fernando Torres (left) on the bench
'I felt very well on the field this season because I have become a more complete player but the ball did not fall for me and I felt I was never in the correct position.
'I watched many videos to study the movements of other strikers, including mine from my spells at Atletico and Liverpool.
'It helped me a lot because I lost the fear of being in the area. I want to thank Steve Holland (assistant coach) for the work he did to help me.
'There were times where I lost hope and that has never happened to me before.
'It's the worst feeling in the world when you love your profession and I became the player I hate.
'Luckily it is part of the past. Now all I have in mind is to fulfil dreams.
'I fulfilled a dream (by winning the Champions League against Bayern Munich at the weekend) and I'd say it's a very happy moment but I demand more.
'The best is yet to come. Now we have to keep dreaming.'
Torres still insists he and Drogba could form an effective partnership, despite the evidence suggesting otherwise, and questioned why the Ivory Coast international chose to leave the club.
'I want to play with the best and he (Drogba) is one of the best,” he added.
'I do not understand why it has to be one or the other and not both.'
But with the path now clear in front of him he is already looking forward to leading the line next season, having spoken to club officials about his future.
'My goal was to talk to them at the end of the season, I needed to know what plans they had for me,' he said.
'We've talked and now I have no doubt what they expect of Fernando Torres. I just want to start next season already.'