Trust Jim White to smash the winter window as silver-haired showman reaches for the Sky
And so here we go again, another transfer window. But have you been out there Bitter, it is. You don't want to crack that window open too much or you might just catch something. Which in QPR's case, of course, is about 10million worth of strikers.
However, the chilly January night air is obviously not a problem for the folks safely ensconced at Sky Sports HQ, where the only issues were to ensure Bryan Swanson's big TV kept the 'totalizer' up to speed and that Natalie Sawyer was able to prevent Jim White exploding in what was an intensely short Transfer Deadline Day Show.
This was the result of a perverse piece of fixture scheduling which meant that Sky's now patented biannual bargain hunt was rudely curtailed by a bunch of football matches.
Window watch: Jim White was the star of the Sky show once again
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The pair were forced to play their own personal game of countdown in the space of just 45 minutes – from the rather ordinary 10.15pm to the somewhat nondescript 11pm – rendering Jim's opening gambit of 'this is going to make Djokovic/Nadal look like a quick catch up' a bit of a stretch.
Yep, this is not the window that our high-octane Scot is really at his best with.
Jim is clearly much more your man for the summer windows – nice, big French ones that he can burst through and proclaim: 'Anyone for Sebastian Bassong on a season long loan'
Instead, he was forced to cram his usually adept and engaging scene-setting into such a short space of time, it never got the chance to build to the usual operatic climax – especially as the fat lady that sang for us on this occasion was nothing more than the thrilling news that Keith Andrews would be joining West Brom on a short-term loan from Blackburn.
This is of course not to say that it didn't have it's usual moments, as all the chaps on their regional beats did their utmost to draw some last-minute blood from the stone of a frankly underwhelming mid-season shopping spree.
Of all the road team, it was probably Gary Cotterill who had the jammiest assignment as he basked in the warm glow of the Loftus Road reception, surrounded by an array of potted palms, like the Robinson Crusoe of Shepherd's Bush.
It was from this balmy location that he registered his surprise that Bobby Zamora 'is not as young as he used to be'.
Gary, it happens to us all, fella. Even to those of us stranded at QPR's desert island foyer.
Easy for you to say: Fulham's new signing Pavel Pogrebnyak
Across the border, Charles Paterson brought us news of Celtic signing Pawel Brozek, who we must assume is a real belt-and-braces kind of guy as the pictures showed him greeting the Hoops faithful in a Celtic shirt, waving a Celtic shirt.
We then saw Harry Redknapp, looking much more at home than he has done in the last few days, in front of the post-match cameras, but without the usual car window that is part and parcel of his deadline-day interviews.
Somewhat out of kilter therefore, Harry mentioned a couple of potential movers before muttering to himself absent-mindedly 'that's it as far as I can think. There was nobody else, was there'
Meanwhile, back in west London, the cold night air was definitely beginning to play tricks with the mind and the tongue as Ian Bolton brought us news of events at Craven Cottage.
As he told us of Fulham's day, he took a lingering look at his notes before launching into an attempt at 'Pavel Poooo (studied pause) – Grebniak' before admitting: 'I've struggled with that all day.'
Back in the studio, Jim sympathised with his buddy by saying 'when you're frozen to the marrow, all you need is a name like…'
Earned his stripes in the trenches like the rest of them, did Jim. And so before you knew it, and before Ian Dowie and Dave Beasant had a chance to chew over any of the albeit meagre scraps of transfer news, it was time for Jim to turn to the 'big guy', also known as the clock tower at the Houses of Parliament, and proclaim the transfer window….closed….about a minute early, so by then adding a few hastily gathered thoughts as to what had gone on until BONG – Big Ben rescued him, the window came to a close, and we all got to go away and learn how you actually say 'Poooo-Grebniak'.
See you next window, big guy.